Revelations from the Stand
“Laura?” Bill touched her arm, drawing her against him as he settled against the arm of his couch.
“Hmm?” Eyes closed, she was trying to relax, to forget the sight of Saul Tigh on the stand…crumbling, his memories crushing him down. Although, her own brief experience on the stand hadn’t been much better, at least it had been interrupted. Now, if only the frakking chamalla would let her relax.
“Saul, when he was on the stand…” His hand ran along her arm, lacing his fingers with hers. “You knew about Ellen?”
She remained silent for a moment then sighed. “I did.” Shifting her weight slightly, she sighed. “He told you?”
“Some of it.” Bill inhaled the scent of her hair, smiling slightly as she settled against him. “Tell me?”
Laura lifted the glass of water to her mouth, taking a sip as she gathered her thoughts and began to remember….they’d been in the caves when Ellen had been pushed into the cavern, her sobs filling the air….
On New Caprica…hours before Galactica’s arrival
“I did it all for you…” At Ellen’s raised cry, Laura turned and stared at the tableau across the cave, Sam and Charlie facing Saul, who was staring at Ellen with an expression she’d never seen him direct toward his wife. When they remained silent, except for Ellen’s choked sob, Laura blinked and moved to Ellen’s side.
“Ellen, come with me.” Meeting Saul’s eye, she caught her breath at the empty horror in his expression before leading Ellen to the far side of the cave. Sinking down on a blanket, she drew the other woman down with her, wrapping her arms around her as Ellen buried her face into Laura’s neck. “Shh…it’s all right…”
“No.” Ellen choked out, shaking her head frantically, “it will never…he’ll kill Saul…all of you. I had to do it for Saul…you understand, Laura. I know you do. You would have…for Bill…”
Gently rubbing Ellen’s back, Laura stared across the cave, at the three men deep in discussion, Saul’s angry gestures forcing the other two men back into the shadows. “Ellen…what did you do?” When the other woman remained silent, shuddering in her arms, Laura bent her head toward Ellen’s ear. “Just breathe…” As Ellen remained silent, Laura’s eyes narrowed, remembering the night several months before when she’d found out the price that the Cylons were exacting from her…
Pulling her coat tighter around her, Laura slipped out the back flap of her tent, and moved silently down the row between the tents until she reached the wider thoroughfare, pausing only to cast a wary look up and down before darting across and into the woods on the far side. As the sounds of the settlement grew fainter while she moved along the path, she let her body relax slightly, inhaling deeply the damp scent of the forest night. Wandering along the path, she paused at a small clearing then climbed up on a large boulder that overlooked the tent settlement below.
Drawing her legs up, she wrapped her arms around them, resting her chin on her knees as she watched the search lights on the guard tower sweep across the tents. Moving slightly, she stared at the outline of Colonial One on the far side, lights showing through the windows. “Gaius Frakking Baltar,” she hissed softly, eyes narrowing in hatred. She’d not seen him in weeks, few had, and those had reported back that he was working as a figurehead for the Cylons, a puppet that refused to stand up for her people. Her people, who were disappearing, some for a short time, some, like Kara, who hadn’t been seen since the occupation. In her stays at the detention center, she’d strained to hear Kara’s voice, praying to the gods that she’d hear the familiar swearing from down the hall…instead, she’d heard other screams, yells, moans…added her own, she was sure. There had been one fierce yell she swore had been Saul…and she’d recognized others…
At a soft sound, she lifted her head, turning to stare back down the darkened path toward the settlement. If she was caught up here after the curfew…well, frak it, what else would they do to her that they hadn’t already done. An involuntary shudder ran along her body. She could pretend to be brave, to put on the stern face of a leader that refused to bow…but, deep down, she could feel the terror that was simmering underneath…remembering the feel of the fists…the hands holding her down as other hands…breaking off the train of thought before it overwhelmed her, she silently slid to the opposite side of the boulder, ready to drop to the far side and escape when she realized that she recognized the woman stumbling into the clearing, her strained laughter dancing through the dim light. Ellen? What the frak was she doing out here…and who….her eyes widened in terror as she pressed down against the boulder, watching as the Cavil pulled Ellen’s clothes off…
A lifetime later, Laura stared as the Cavil stood and pulled up his pants, leaving Ellen on her back, gazing up at him. “You’ll come see me tomorrow, we’ll finalize the details. Don’t be late now, you wouldn’t want him to have to be there any longer than he has to be now, would you.” He grinned and turned to leave, tossing a last comment about using his name should she be stopped by any of the Centurions for being out after curfew.
“I’ll be fine.” Ellen called, a catch in her voice, “be there in the morning…” She remained still for several minutes before turning on her side and curling up into a ball, sobbing into her clothes.
Laura remained where she was, trying to decipher the meaning between the last of the conversation, the only true sentences she’d been able to make out that didn’t involve Cavil or Ellen ordering the other in some sort of…she shuddered, the movement causing an unseen pebble to slide off the boulder.
“Who’s there…” Ellen’s voice cut through the sudden quiet. “Who the frak is out there…Cavil?” Sitting up, she clutched her shirt to her chest. “Who the frak is out there?”
Laura sighed and sat up. “Shut up Ellen.”
Ellen stared at her in horror, the light of the moon glinting off Laura’s hair now that she was sitting up. “What the frak are you doing out here. Don’t you know…” scrambling to her feet, she pulled her clothes on, casting frantic looks at the path Cavil had disappeared down. “Don’t you know what they’ll do to you for being out after curfew?”
“I do.” Carefully, Laura slid down the side of the boulder and stared at Ellen. “Do you?”
“I’m…” Ellen jammed her hands into her jacket before she faced Laura again. “I…”
Laura gazed at her levelly. True, she’d suspected Ellen of being a Cylon when they’d first met, and as the months had progressed, had decided that she was just one of those typical manipulative women who needed to control the men in their lives, as well as being the center of attention at all times. In short, like most of the women she’d had to deal with in politics. However, on New Caprica, something had changed. For some reason, after the party she’d thrown for Kara, Ellen had started to seek out Laura, thoroughly confusing her.
A drunk, manipulative Ellen she could understand and deal with. A female that seemed to want to be her friend, even as a favor to her husband, which was confusing enough, completely confounded Laura. Not sure of Ellen’s intentions, she’d been reluctant to open herself up to the other woman until a chance remark from Ellen, pairing Bill and Saul’s names made her realize what had happened. It wasn’t so much her being able to hold her own in drinking with Ellen, as it was to Ellen, that Laura was the closest thing to her former life on Galactica, and somewhere in the back of her mind Laura was linked to Bill, who was linked to Saul. And that Laura was about the only other woman her age that might need a friend in a…similar situation.
And then there was the bazaar. Against her better judgment, she’d let Ellen talk her into going and seeing what there was to trade. Ellen had found a beautiful red dress and had been trying it on while Laura waited, staring longingly at the stall of books on the opposite side of the square, when she’d suddenly felt herself yanked into the changing area, Ellen shoving the dress at her and insisting she try it on. She’d tried to protest, she didn’t need anything new, and it was completely impractical for teaching, the color would clash with her hair, and she’d rather use what goods she had to trade for books…all her protesting had disappeared as Ellen turned her toward the smoky mirror and she caught sight of herself in the red dress. As they stared at their reflections, Laura in red, Ellen in the other outfit she’d brought in, Laura blinked, then let her hand run along her side. She’d never worn…it was completely inappropriate for someone in politics…
“You’re not in politics anymore.” Ellen had whispered, a conspiratorial glint in her eye as Laura realized she’d spoken the last statement aloud. “You don’t have to worry about what anyone will say, and Bill will love you in it.”
“You think?” The wistful statement was out of Laura’s mouth before she realized it. “I mean…”
“On Caprica, you had to be the perfect teacher turned politician, on Galactica, you had to be the President.” Ellen wrinkled her nose at their reflection. “Here, you can be a teacher and let Bill decide what else. You have to get it.” Her statement elicited a giggle from Laura, which in turn caused Ellen to laugh.
“Laura?” At the whisper, she returned her attention to the woman in front of her. “Laura…you have to believe me…”
“You’re doing it for Saul.” Laura nodded slowly as Ellen sank back down onto the grass. “I…Ellen, why?”
“Laura…I saw what they did to you…Saul…he’s all I’ve got.” She buried her face in her hands. “He’s not on the frakking ship, because I wanted him down here with me. Because of me, he’s in there…because I wanted him…”
“Ellen.” Laura knelt facing her, reaching out to take her hands. “Ellen, listen to me. He’ll be all right…but…do you know…”
”He’ll be safe, he’s alive…” Ellen’s voice choked off. “He has to be…”
“Ellen, listen to me.” Laura’s hands squeezed the other woman’s icy fingers, “you have to listen to me. Cavil…he has no qualms about doing whatever he wants…”
“That much I know.” Ellen shuddered.
‘Me too…’ Laura shut off that train of thought before she spiraled down into nightmares, “Ellen, you have know…now that he knows…he knows you’ll do anything for Saul…”
“I will.” She nodded, her tortured eyes meeting Laura’s. “Anything.”
“Ellen…you’re going to have to decide…” Laura’s voice cracked. “Ellen, what if next time, or the time after, it’s not to save Saul, but to betray others to save Saul…”
“It won’t…” Ellen shook her head. “Once Saul’s out, it will be fine.”
“Oh, Ellen.” With a groan, Laura wrapped her arms around the other woman as she collapsed into her arms, sobbing. She had no idea what she’d gotten herself, as well as the rest of them into, no matter how good her intentions had been to save her husband.
“Laura?” At the soft sob, she returned to the cavern, her memories of that night fading back into the past as Ellen clutched at her.
“Oh, Ellen.” Rocking her gently, Laura sighed. “Why?”
“They were going…” Ellen coughed, “he was going to take Saul, and this time he wouldn’t survive…I thought you were gone…so many people had disappeared…and I didn’t know…Saul was all I had…I hoped they would think it was forged information…I didn’t know what he would do with it…”
“Ellen…” Laura’s voice trailed off, remembering how she’d felt the first time she’d been responsible for death…leaving the ships behind…”Gods no…shh…” Rocking the woman back and forth, she sighed, lifting her head to watch the men across the room. She knew very well what they were discussing, and the fact that it had been information coerced made no difference to the men who’d nearly been killed by the information Ellen had passed. And Saul, who’d been the one to give the orders so many other times…his face turned, and his eye locked onto her pained face. “Oh, frak…no…” Laura’s eyes closed as she dropped her chin, resting her cheek on the top of Ellen’s head. This would almost kill him…
“Laura.” At the rough voice, she started, her body jerking with surprise. “No, shh.” Saul squatted in front of her, his hand hesitantly reaching out for Ellen. “She’s asleep?”
“Yeah.” She stared at him, the misery in his face. “Saul…”
“How long?” He glanced up at her. “She went to you. How long has she been…and how long have you known?”
“He had her convinced that it was the only way…” Laura bit her lip, “the only way she could keep you alive. I found out the night before you were released the first time.”
“You should have…” Saul broke off at the look in her eyes. “She’s my wife.”
“And what would you have done, Saul.” Her voice was heavy, tears starting to fall from her eyes, “she loves you so much. She would have done whatever it takes to keep you alive. I understand that. If you’d known…you would have…Saul, I kept her safe when I could…we looked after each other when we could…I didn’t know what else he was asking of her…he threatened to kill you, she didn’t know…there was no other way…I promised her…” Laura took a deep breath. “She loves you so much, Saul. So much.”
“I know.” As Ellen stirred, he broke off, wiping his face.
“Ellen?” Laura bent her mouth toward the other woman’s ear. “Ellen, Saul’s here…”
“Saul…” Ellen sat up slowly, holding onto Laura’s hand tightly, her body trembling.
“Let’s go…we need to talk…” Standing, he held out his arms. “It’ll be okay.”
“I love you.” She whispered, managing to stand with Laura’s help then falling into his arms.
“I know.” Burying his hands in her hair, he pulled her against him, kissing her deeply. “I love you too.”
“I…” Ellen closed her eyes. “I’m sorry…”
“I know.” Saul whispered hoarsely, “let’s go…”
“Ellen,” Laura stood, reaching up to touch her cheek. “It’s going to…it’s going to be…”
I know.” Ellen nodded. “I’m sorry I made you…” she managed a weak smile as Laura’s hand fell to her side.
“It’s okay.” With a final glance at them, Laura stepped away, “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Later.” Ellen echoed in a whisper, watching Laura cross the cave and stop in front of Tory Foster.
“We’ll get some tea.” Saul wrapped his arm around her waist and led her toward a hidden alcove in the cave.
An hour later, Laura hesitantly stepped through the entrance to the alcove, “Saul?” She set a basin and parcel down on the table next to the cot.
“Yeah?” His back to her, he was perched on the edge of the cot, staring down at Ellen…at Ellen’s body. “You should be…you’ve other things…”
Laura waited a moment, watching his back as his arm moved to wipe his face. “I know. But…” she stepped forward, resting her hand lightly on his shoulder. “She looks so peaceful.”
“She’s as beautiful as the day…” He dropped his head, his voice unable to continue.
“She saw you in uniform.” Laura spoke softly, “the sun was overhead, glinting off your medals as you strode across the plaza…”
“I didn’t even want to go to the frakking ceremony. Never liked Adar.” His statement elicited a strange noise from her, which he ignored. “But there was this blonde, hiding in a corner…changed my life when she pulled out a hidden flask of ambrosia, same as mine…”
“She loved you, and you have to believe me Saul,” Laura tightened her hand on his shoulder. “She truly loved you and thought she was doing…”
“She wanted me to be so much more.” He shook his head, “Bill thought I didn’t know what she was doing all those years…thought she wasn’t good for me. But, we had something…”
“I know.” Laura sighed softly. “She was…special. Drove me insane when we met…remember that dinner?”
“With Bill and Lee?” He snorted, “she met Baltar that night as well. She thought you were sleeping with Bill. Didn’t help with that fit you threw in Baltar’s lab later that night as well. She tried to get back at you…”
“When I was in the brig?” Laura managed a weak smile, “Gods, I’d almost thought that was a dream.”
“Convinced me you were insane, I should let the press and the Quorum have a go at you.” Saul shook his head. “And then you turned everything upside down.”
“Sorry about that.” Her lips twitched.
“No, you weren’t. And aren’t.” He glanced up at her, tears in his eyes. “Frakking schoolteacher.”
“Frakking drunk.” She retorted gently. “Saul…go somewhere for a bit. Please.”
“I need…” He turned back to stare down at Ellen. “I need to stay with her.”
“No.” Laura moved around him, gazing down at him. “Please Saul. Let me…let me take care of her for a bit then come back. Please?” He stared up at her. “It’s almost time, Saul. We need you. You need to go away for just a bit, make sure everything’s…I’ll take care of her. I promise.”
“Politician’s promise?” He grunted at her expression.
“Laura’s promise.” She touched his cheek. “Please.”
“I’ll be back.” With a final kiss to Ellen’s cold cheek, he stood, casting a last look at Laura as he did.
“And, draw the curtain, please.” She waited until he’d left to open the parcel she’d set down on the table. Dampening the towel with the water in the basin, she carefully washed Ellen’s face, cleaning the mascara and tears off her cheeks, her own tears falling unheeded as she continued to undress Ellen, replacing the dirty and torn pink sweater with the red dress she’d had Tory retrieve from her tent.
By the time she finished, she gazed down in satisfaction at Ellen, her hair arranged around her strangely peaceful face, the red dress draping her body as she lay, arms crossed over her waist. “Oh, Ellen.” Leaning over, she kissed her forehead gently then settled, rocking slightly as she prayed over the body, barely noticing when Saul returned to her side….
Galactica, present day…
“And then, the explosions started.” Laura twisted slightly in Bill’s arms, gazing up at him. “We had to leave her, but…I did the prayers…she died in love. It was so close…there was so much anger…”
“Saul told me you’d prayed over her.” His finger moved to gently rub the tears off her face. “It meant more to him than you’ll ever know.”
“We spoke about it a while later.” Laura took another sip of water and tensed.
“Chamalla?” He murmured in her ear.
”Yeah. Don’t move for a moment.” She remained frozen, willing her stomach to settle. When she finally relaxed again, she felt him relax behind her, letting his body adjust to hers. “Thanks.”
“You start the treatments when?” Bill carefully took the glass from her hand and set it to the side.
“Next week. I just need to get through the trial.” Laura shook her head. “I have to see him…I just need to get through this.”
“You’re back up tomorrow.” Absently, he let his thumb caress her waist. “You going to be all right?”
“Yeah.” She sighed. “I’ll get through this then start the diloxin. I’ll have a slight grace period before the press gets hold of it. But, I’m going to fight it. I need to.”
“We’ll get through this.” Closing his eyes, he thought about Saul, and Ellen. And Laura. When Saul had told him about Laura and Ellen being friends, he hadn’t really believed it, the two of them were so different. But then again, he hadn’t been there to see how Ellen had changed, he knew some of the ways Laura had, and was continually learning more. Not that she’d opened up as much to him as he would have liked, and there was a certain edge to her now that she’d not had prior to New Caprica. But on the flip side, they had grown closer, he was one of the few people that knew about the cancer returning, and she had told him more than once about her feelings about his quarters, the safe haven they provided when she’d let him. When she stirred, he lifted his head. “What?”
“I need to go.” Easing herself up from his embrace, Laura sighed as she twisted slightly to look down at him. “My shuttle leaves in fifteen minutes.”
“You could stay.” Brushing her hair back behind her ear, he smiled up at her. “You know that.”
“I know.” Sitting up, she swung her feet to the floor and grimaced. “And wouldn’t Lampkin and the press have a field day with that. I testify tomorrow, and you’re a judge. While we can get by with discussing fleet business for a time, I don’t think they’d appreciate me spending the night with you. And…”
“And what?” He sat up next to her, rubbing her back lightly. “Laura?”
“I…” Laura glanced at him. “It’s nothing.”
“No, it’s not.” Reaching up, he traced her cheek with a callused finger. “Tell me?”
She sighed softly and stood, using his arm as she caught her balance. Turning to face him, Laura let her hands rest on his chest as she gazed into his eyes. “It’s Lee…there’s something going on. It’s in his eyes. In the CIC today, he was watching us…I don’t know why, but I could feel it.” She watched his eyes harden. “I know you’ve seen it too. Something’s happening though, I don’t know…”
“We’ll watch him.” Bill’s voice was hoarse in the stillness. “But, I know what you mean.” Sliding his arms around her waist, he stepped forward so she was leaning against him, her face nestling into his neck. “We’ll be fine, Madame President.”
“Thank you, sir.” He felt her smile against his neck before she straightened. “I’ll call you when I get back to Colonial One.”
“Thank you.” Bill chuckled. It had taken them a while, but they’d fallen into the habit of speaking each night before bed, starting with catching up on whatever business had transpired since they’d seen each other and ending with increasingly personal conversations. By now, sometimes it was business; sometimes it was one or the other just calling to let the other know they’d returned to their respective ships safely. Either way, it was something they shared. Or, in all honesty, something else they shared. And something that had evolved from the evening briefing calls to the occasional morning or mid-day call as well, when something struck one or the other of them that they needed to tell the other.
As she stepped out of his loose embrace, he leaned forward and kissed her gently, deepening it as her hand ran around his neck, holding him to her. When she finally stepped back, he let his hand run down her arm to lace his fingers with hers. “Call me.”
“I will.” With a final squeeze, Laura reluctantly released his hand and stepped into her shoes before picking up her briefcase. “Thank you, Admiral.”
“Madame President.” Passing her, he opened the hatch and held it as she stepped through, handing the case to one of her escorts. “I’ll see you at the trial.”
“Yes, you will.” With a final smile, she took a step down the hall and paused, turning back to face him as her voice dropped. “Bill?”
“Hmm?” Already closing the door, he leaned out toward her.
She dropped her voice, “do me a favor and go make sure Saul’s all right? He’ll…he’ll be drinking.”
Bill nodded slowly, “Yeah.”
“And tell him…I remember her too.” With a final sad smile, she turned and led her escort down the corridor as he stepped through the hatch, pulling it shut behind him.
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