Final Absolution

“You all right?” Bill gazed levelly at Laura as he tucked the blanket around her.

“Yes.” Her hand trembling slightly, she lifted it to rest on his cheek. “I’ll be fine until it’s time to go down. You go take care of what you need to, I’m just going to rest until then.”

“I’ll be back soon.” He turned his head to press a kiss against her palm before catching her hand and replacing it under the blanket. “I’m leaving the hatch slightly open. You need anything, you call out, the Marines will get me. Anything, understand?”

“Yes.” Laura cuddled slightly deeper into the nest of blankets he’d formed for her on his rack. “Empty in here.”

“Yeah.” Bill glanced around the room, stripped bare of all furnishings and their belongings. “There’s water on the shelf over there. You sure you’re warm enough?”

“Bill.” She smiled, “go. The sooner you go, the sooner you get back and we head down. Or, I head down. You following a few minutes later.”

“You’re…” He stopped as her hand raised to rest on his mouth.

“Go.” With a final wrinkle of her nose at him, Laura sighed softly and closed her eyes. “Resting.”

“Yes Ma’am, Madame President.” Bending, he kissed her gently before standing and moving to the hatch. With a final glance back at her, he stepped through, leaving it open as he faced the Marines stationed outside. “Keep an ear open for her. No one goes in to see her without you escorting them after checking to see if she’s able to see them. Understand?” At their nods, he let out a deep breath and strode down the corridor.

Fifteen minutes later, the guards turned toward the echoing footsteps they could hear coming down the corridor, exchanging a look when the couple gingerly made their way down the steps to the Admiral’s quarters. “Sir?”

“We’d like to see the President.” Gaius Baltar felt Caprica’s hand tighten on his. They’d spoken of waiting until they’d all gone down to go speak to her, but she’d demanded they go before they left. When the guards exchanged another look, he continued. “Just to speak to her…before…”

“Wait here.” One of the guards stepped inside the quarters and returned a minute later. “This way, sir. Ma’am.” He waited for them to step through the hatch and join him before leading them back to the sleeping alcove. “Madame President?” When she opened her eyes and nodded, he stepped back, enough to give them privacy, but close enough to be there immediately if she called out.

“This is…a surprise.” Laura had managed, with the guard’s reluctant assistance, to move to an upright position, braced against the wall. “I’d offer you a chair, but…”

“That’s all right.” Gaius glanced at Caprica, not surprised when she perched on the edge of the rack. “Thank you for seeing us.”

“I’m glad you came.” Taking her glasses off, she smiled slightly. “I wanted to see you…before…” she broke off, coughing.

“Here.” Spying a glass of water on a shelf near the rack, Gaius handed it to her, automatically helping her as she sipped at it.

“Thank you.” Catching her breath again, Laura leaned back against the pillows.

“I wanted to say thank you.” Caprica reached out and laid a slender hand on Laura’s blanket covered leg. “I wasn’t sure I’d ever gotten…when we were in Sick Bay together. You didn’t treat me like…”

“You’re welcome.” Reaching out, she caught Caprica’s hand. “I’m so sorry…for what happened. And, for what has happened since.”

“It’s all right.” Caprica glanced at Gaius. “Everything has a reason. To everything there is a time. A season. A purpose. Without what we experience and live, we would not be who we become.”

“Indeed.” Laura managed a slight smile. “Gaius. Despite what…I wanted to say thank you.”

“Thank…” He blinked. At one point, he would have arrogantly expected it, but would have never anticipated that she would actually say the words willingly, even at this time.

“Mmm.” She looked at him. “You did save my life…”

“Well, I believe we are even on that point.” Gaius winced.

“Yes.” Laura held his gaze levelly. “We both learned a lot about ourselves during our time on that ship.”

He nodded slowly. “And we both admitted a lot to each other as well.”

“Yes. We did.” She glanced at Caprica. “So, it’s more than what it was?”

“I’m not…” Caprica bit her lip. “I am, but I’m not.”

“I know.” Laura squeezed her hand.

“When you saw us on Caprica.” Gaius began hesitantly. “I didn’t…I wasn’t…”

“None of us are who we were then.” She shivered slightly and withdrew her hand from Caprica’s with an apologetic look and pulled the blanket back up over her arms. “I was the Secretary of Education, with a job, a lover I was unable to end a relationship with no matter how much I wanted to, and had just been given six months to live. With no real reason to fight for more than that six months to live. I had no family, nothing but a job and an apartment.” Laura smiled sadly, shaking her head at them. “Truly. I was going to take care of getting Galactica’s final transition underway, then planned on just…I didn’t really have time to even plan for what I was going to do when it all happened.”

“Which wouldn’t have happened…” Gaius began, his brow furrowed.

“It would have happened with or without you.” Laura glanced at Caprica. “Correct?”

Caprica nodded slowly, turning to look at him. “If not then, very soon.”

“But…” He bit back his next comment, suddenly looking uncertain.

“Now, I’m still dying, sooner rather than later,” Laura snorted softly. “However, now, I have a family, a home…and I had a reason to live. And for that…I do have to thank you, Gaius. Even if sometimes that reason to live was to spite you.”

“Well now,” He blinked. “That’s more like the Laura Roslin I’d expect to hear from.”

She smiled slightly. “And although, I know you don’t believe in them, may never have, and probably never will, you did help fulfill the prophecies of the Gods.”

“The dying leader.” He whispered. “But…you’re going to get down…you will enter…”

“By the grace of the Gods…” She glanced at Caprica, “or God. And that’s one of the freedoms we, our people have always deserved. To worship as they wish, as well as to respect the beliefs of others. Something you and I have learned, Gaius.” Laura looked back at him. “To believe in ourselves, but not to the exclusion of all others. I placed all my faith in the scriptures. Misguided at times, blindly at others. But, I only saw what I saw. You placed your faith in yourself, or in what others saw you as.” She smiled sadly. “And we both learned so much, so late. Too late.”

“Madame Pres…Laura.” Gaius took a deep breath.

“Let me finish.” Her voice was soft, but as firm as he’d heard it raised in Quorum meetings, at Press Conferences, in disagreement with the Admiral, or in defense of her people against the Cylons on New Caprica. ”You only cared about yourself, about what you felt, what you liked, what you wanted. To the exclusion of anything or anyone else.” Laura shook her head. “You let yourself be used, in order to gain your own pleasure. To feel your own pleasure, you took the easy way, always the easy way. Until…” She gazed at him levelly again. “Until you sent your…harem, for lack of a better word, on. And remained. Why?”

He stared at her, barely feeling Caprica’s hand clenching his. “Because I had to. They were my people. I was the reason we had lost so many. I was the reason we had no future, no past. I needed, not redemption, but…I had to.”

“Because deep down inside, Gaius?” Laura smiled sadly. “You became who you were afraid to be. You started to look outside of yourself. To live for others not for what they could do for you, but for what they could be to themselves. And, that was the most difficult journey of all.”

“Laura.” He started to speak, but couldn’t, finally resorting to shaking his head helplessly. “I don’t know what you want…what I want from…”

“Gaius.” Her hand lifted from underneath the blanket once again, this time to cup the back of his head and gently pull it toward hers. Kissing him lightly, she rested her forehead on his. “Go in peace. And live with what you’ve learned. The two of you are the hope of what we all can accomplish. Do you understand?”

”I…” He closed his eyes. “Laura…Yes. I do.” Lifting his face, he kissed her forehead. “We will.”

”Good.” Letting out a breath, she shivered again. “I’m sorry…”

“Here.” Gently he eased his arms under her body, and with Caprica’s assistance, moved her so that she was once again lying down, head and shoulders propped up by the pillows. “Is that better?”

”Yes.” Laura smiled sadly at them, blinking in the dim light. Suddenly, her eyes shifted to look past them, focusing behind them. “Let them be. Please. They’ve earned the right to live for each other, not as you’d have them live.” When Gaius and Caprica exchanged a startled glance and looked back at their doubles, standing behind them looking equally as startled, she continued. “You gave us the opera house visions…let us be. Let them be. Please.”

“You can…” Caprica swallowed, looking back at Laura. “You…”

”Sometimes.” Laura smiled wryly. “Chamalla does insane things, sometimes visions are visions, sometimes hallucinations, and sometimes the truth masquerading as insanity.” She let out another soft sigh. “You should go on now. Your raptor should be leaving soon.”

“Indeed.” Gaius nodded, returning his attention to her. “I wish it could have been different.”

“Wishing doesn’t make a thing happen.” Laura smiled. “One small moment and we wouldn’t be here at all. Be well, Gaius. And live with who you’ve become. And…” her breath caught slightly, causing her to swallow. Focusing back on them, she whispered hoarsely. “Love each other, because you don’t know…you won’t know how much you can truly love until it’s almost gone. Treasure every moment you have with each other, and live them together. Both of you. Promise me.”

They exchanged a look and nodded slowly, their hands linking before Caprica spoke softly. “Because every day is a present. For each of us.”

“Yes.” Laura nodded. “You understand.”

“We do.” Gaius glanced at Caprica and nodded slightly.

“Thank you.” Caprica leaned forward and hugged Laura gently before stepping back.

”Madame President.” For the first time, there was no hidden tone, no malice or sly sarcasm in the title as he used it, utterly filled with the warmth of respect and love. “Laura.” He caught her hand and pressed his lips against her cold skin before tucking it back under the blanket. “It truly has been an honor.”

”Doctor Baltar.” She smiled, her tone matching his. “Likewise. Again. Live well.” With a final nod, she closed her eyes, wearily dismissing them.

As they retreated into the main quarters, hand in hand, they stopped at the sight of the Admiral, waiting for them by the hatch. “Admiral.”

“Doctor.” He nodded. “Caprica.”

“We were just…” She glanced back.

“I know.” Bill’s face softened. “Thank you both.”

”We’ll see you down there, sir.” Gaius nodded as Bill stepped to the side, moving out of their way.

After securing the hatch behind them, Bill was once again perched on the side of the rack, his finger tracing gently over Laura’s cheek. When she opened her eyes, he smiled. “Hey there.”

“Hi.” She returned his smile sleepily. “Time?”

“In a few minutes.” Easing himself onto the rack, he wrapped his arms around her. “All right?”

“Better now.” Nestling into him, she sighed softly. “Who’s flying me down?”

“Lee and Kara.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll be a few minutes behind you.”

“My Husker.” Laura smiled against his neck. “My love.”

“My Laura.” He whispered back into the soft silence of her hair. “My love.”