Coming Home

Staring blindly ahead, Laura concentrated on breathing. Slowly. In and out. In and out. The now familiar hum of the raptor, the noises from the cockpit…all she had to do for right now was to breath. In and out. Slowly. That was all. No matter where her mind went. Bill was alive. He’d told her he wasn’t injured, something nothing short of miraculous, and somehow…hard to believe. He was alive and…he wouldn’t want her to worry…and…Closing her eyes she took a shuddering breath, jumping slightly as a hand rested on her arm. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” At the low voice, she turned her head slightly, her lashes fluttering open as she focused on the man kneeling next to her, a concerned expression in his eyes.

After blinking, Laura nodded slowly. “For now.” Tilting her head slightly, she inspected the face gazing back at hers in concern. “Why did you help me…after…”

Leoben’s lips twitched. “After you airlocked me?”

“Something like that…and other things…places…” Laura turned to face him, waiting as he slid into the seat facing hers. “I wouldn’t have been able to get through without you…why…”

“It’s been my…task to make you question.” He shook his head slowly. “To look at the angles you might not have. And at times to distract. But…it’s changing. Everything’s been changing. We told you no, and you…” he shrugged. “I know fear. I know…obsession. And I’ve seen it turn upside down. And you know that while we may be the same model…we may have different perspectives…motivations from others of our same model.”

“You defied the others.” Her hand trembling slightly, she pushed her hair back and adjusted her glasses as she watched him, trying to not remember their first meeting…or rather her dreams of their first meeting. She’d seen him when she was in detention, yet he’d been distracted at times, later Laura had found out that Kara had been the reason…But that didn’t seem to be the case any more…But there was still the abrupt embrace he’d pulled her into…and the doubt that he’d sown at that moment…

“I believed you.” A simple statement that belied what had raced through him as he’d watched her desperately trying to find a communications channel. “You had nothing to lose, everything to gain. It was all encompassing. I’ve…seen humans broken, and I’ve seen humans survive everything to break. And, I’ve seen them survive and, well…survive.”

“And?” She waited patiently.

“And,” he smiled slightly. “I’ve watched you, well, my model has. Truth is, I was obsessed with Kara Thrace, and am still not sure what I feel with you.”

Obsessed with Kara in the past tense, Laura noticed, her mind wandering back a few hours when she’d been told that the Basestar was going to jump. “You couldn’t look at me. You were outvoted.”

“I was.” Leoben nodded slowly. “And you were so desperately…none of us had ever seen you like that. No matter what happened on New Caprica…that was in the past. And now…then…the pure anguish and faith that you had in Adama…Admiral Adama. You turned the tide. I just provided the tool.”

Laura watched him for a long moment, feeling the Raptor’s engines change. “We’re coming into Galactica now.”

He glanced past her toward the viewport. “Yes. We are.”

“I don’t know what to do.” She whispered. “I don’t know what I have left. I don’t know what I would have done…”

“Could have fooled me.” Reaching up carefully, he touched her cheek. “Laura, you’re going to get up and out of this Raptor and see him, then take it one step at a time.”

“I don’t have much time.” A tear ran down her cheek. “Not at all.”

“Which makes the fact, Laura, that you were willing to give up the time that you have for what you believe in all that much more of a precious gift.” He wiped away the tear. “We need you, Madame President. We need what you’re willing to give. Or leave us. But, we all need you. And we all need you and Adama to lead us as long as you can. Do you understand?”

“I’ve…I was so wrong, why do people still believe in me?” She blinked back another tear as the Raptor settled on the deck.

“Because they believe in your heart.” He smiled at her. “And your passion.”

Laura focused on him. “I don’t understand…”

“You will.” Leaning forward, he carefully unfastened her harness. “You go find the Admiral. Together, you will lead us, and your Fleet, and we will find the way, for as long as you believe. But you have to believe in what you can give, as much as you believe in the Admiral. I believe in you, The Eights believe in you…as do the Sixes. The final…well, Tory will find her own way, eventually. I don’t know the others well enough…But, we can’t make you believe. You lost your faith for a while, Laura. It’s time to find it again.”

Absently, she took his hand, accepting his assistance as she stood. Lifting her head she gazed at him. “I still don’t…”

“You will.” As the hatch opened, they turned to face it.

“Madame President. We’ve received word that an escort is waiting for you.” The Eight who’d been piloting the Raptor stepped down from the pilot’s seat. “With your permission, we’ll stay at this docking bay? The CIC has agreed.”

”Very well.” She nodded slowly. “I don’t understand, you need my permission…”

“Yes, ma’am.” The Eight bit her lip, “um, in case you need anything, we’ll be here.”

“I see.” Laura turned to face her fully. “Thank you…I don’t know if I had time earlier, or remembered to. We wouldn’t have made it to the Basestar without you.”

“You’re welcome, ma’am.” She glanced at Leoben for a moment before continuing. “We…my model that is, we’re sorry…we thought it was safer…we didn’t…”

“I understand.” Laura stepped toward the girl and held out her hand. “I do.”

The Eight stared at it for a moment before taking it and shaking it. “Thank you.”

“Laura.” Leoben stepped toward her. “It’s time. You need to take back the ship…the fleet.”

She nodded slowly, her hand slipping from the Eights as she turned to face him again. “Thank you.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “Better on your side than have it directed against me. What you did on the Basestar was infinitely more terrifying than facing an airlock again. We knew you couldn’t break. It’s too bad your own people never learned it.”

“Interesting way of putting it.” Laura took his hand as he helped her out the hatch. Stepping through, she paused, gazing around her at the walkway leading to a ladder down to the bay.

“We set down here because it was a cleared area.” Leoben moved next to her. “It’s safe.”

“No,” Laura shook her head wearily. “I mean, I know it’s safe. It’s just…back, before…this is the same one that I entered Galactica through when I first came, as Secretary of Education. Years ago.”

“Oh.” Watching her face, he nodded and stepped back. “Laura, believe in yourself. And Adama. And what you both have to give.”

“Hmm.” Absently, she moved toward the ladder and stared at it as he stepped back into the Raptor. Stopping just short of where she’d be visible from anyone looking up from below, Laura closed her eyes, her thoughts running ahead of her body. In the brief conversation she and Bill had been able to have, he’d reassured her that Galactica was back under his command, and that his forces were actively subduing the pockets of resistance throughout the ship. The final four had been released, with Sam the worst injured, in Sick Bay with Kara by his side, a curious turn. And Helo was also receiving treatment for his injuries. Athena, Caprica, Hera, Saul, and Tyrol were fine, some minor injuries…and Lee was safe as well. She’d been given the go ahead to return, as Colonial One was docked inside the Hangar, she only hoped the Quorum wasn’t giving him as much trouble as they could.

Suddenly, a wave of exhaustion and nausea rolled over her, causing her to sway slightly as she grasped the railing for support. Cottle would be furious with her, in addition to every diloxin treatment she missed, she now couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten, there was a vague remembrance of sipping at the coffee that morning…hours ago…and while she’d felt herself go rigid with fury, channeling her grief and anger into her response to Zarek’s statement that they surrender…the frakking bastard had used her first name…his tone of condescension clear over the com system.

She’d felt invincible…if Bill had left her, he’d left her in a blaze of indignation, and his energy and belief in her and what she’d do, as strong as hers was toward him…and somehow, somewhere, she hadn’t felt him leave her, and she would. He was her soul’s other half, and if he’d left…the empty bereft feeling she’d felt shatter her for a moment would have lasted…longer. With the adrenaline draining from her though, she felt…the energy she’d had the last few days draining with it…the absurd brief flash of memory of Bill telling her to rest…she hadn’t wanted to, but now…with everything in her drained out…

“I can’t…” The whisper escaped her for a brief moment. “I can’t do this any more.” She felt like she didn’t have anything left to give…yet, somehow she would, they would. He was on the CIC, she needed to get there, to see him, touch him, reassure her heart that he was safe, and this wasn’t some frakked up vision, or death induced hallucination. She needed to see him for her own soul, and her own peace. And, he would need to see her for the same reasons. Two halves of a soul, so it seemed.

Then, they would start to put the pieces together. She’d convince the Quorum. She’d take back what had been taken from her as much as she could, and this time, as she faded out…she’d pass along what needed to be. Lee was more than capable…and his eyes when he’d come to his father’s quarters and found her…They were her Captain Apollo’s eyes again. He’d been what they’d hoped he’d become, or was at least on his way. He’d been searching…his passions confused at times…misdirected at others…yet, deep down…the young pilot had become his father’s son, coming into his own. It was what she’d been waiting for. And yet Bill had been waiting for it for so much longer…

“Bill…” The almost whimper escaped her as she stared at the ladder access, struggling to focus her mind on the immediate task to get her to where she should be…the CIC. Go down the ladder, greet the escort and request to be taken to the CIC, whether or not she should go back to Colonial One first to deal with the Quorum, she needed to know the facts…to see Bill…to see that they were going to figure it out. So. Focus on one step at a time. Down the ladder, escort, CIC. Down the ladder, escort, CIC. “You can do this Laura.” Swaying again, she knew she’d need to eat or drink something or she’d end up in Sick Bay, which would be ridiculous since it would be filled with the wounded, not just a dying woman who hadn’t eaten. Stupid even.

“Ladder, escort, CIC.” She whispered to herself, finally stepping forward, a brief flash of memory of Billy insisting that he carry down her briefcase before her, her petty annoyance that no one had mentioned she might not want to wear a skirt, that weasely Doral…she shuddered slightly, she’d felt his eyes on her as she’d climbed down the ladder, suddenly realizing she never had thanked Billy for distracting Doral as she’d finished the climb. She’d been so…Laura wrinkled her nose, not naive, or frightened, but…intimidated by the sheer size of the Galactica, finally seeing what several years of working toward a historical museum had wrought, her confidence in her facts and figures, her focus on how to make it a more viable and accessible museum for teachers and students. It had been a ship, a museum, then. Now…it was part of her. So much more than a resource. Preparing to fire on it had been almost as painful as…well, losing part of herself. Absently, she ran her hand along the railing, feeling the pitting and scratches in the metal. “We’ve both been through it, haven’t we…”

Taking the final steps toward the ladder, she turned, the movements slow, but automatic now. That first trip down them in her lavender suit…it’s light airy material traded soon after for a more…appropriately functional presidential suit, she’d been hesitant, her grip on the rails tight, her footing unsure. Now, it was easy…when one wasn’t exhausted, mentally and physically. Easily she made her way down to the deck, not fast, but this time, the slower speed necessary as she gathered herself. Down the ladder, greet the escort, ask to be taken to the CIC, that’s all she had to do.

Finally, she stepped onto the deck and took a breath, turning to see which of the guards had been…she blinked, unable to speak or breathe for a moment until a choked sob escaped her as he gazed at her…the Adama stare, her mind tangented for a brief moment until her consciousness took over again. He was there, in front of her. No bandages, no blood…no visible wounds as he gazed at her, the same concern and love reading in his eyes. Unable to think, her hand fluttered automatically to take her glasses off so she could wipe…her eyes, push her hair back, anything to reassure herself that this was real this time, that he was there in front of her, but she couldn’t get to him…she couldn’t move, could barely breathe…her breath was choking her as her mind crashed and all she could see was him…moving toward her.

Frak, he wouldn’t want her crying, he couldn’t see what she wanted to hide, but somehow she couldn’t hide anything any more, all the skills she’d obtained over the years, being in front of students…politicians…teachers…the press…the Quorum…she’d never had a problem being in front of anyone and speaking or representing, had never let herself completely be exposed to her previous lovers, she’d always maintained a modicum of control…and yet here in front of Bill, she was laid bare, and didn’t know what…her hands moved restlessly, he was so far away, and yet so…he was here, in front of her.

Managing a broken smile, she reached out and shoved him lightly, still afraid that this was all another hallucination, although she hadn’t had one in several days…almost a week, and when she’d dreamed of him on New Caprica, she’d been unable to touch him as she was, her hand running along his chest, feeling his warmth…his solidity as he gazed at her, his lips curved up slightly, her hand cupping his cheek before grasping his shoulder. Another soft sob escaped her as it broke both of them, his arm sliding around her as he pulled her unresistingly into his arms, where she curled into his side, letting his heat and strength surround her. She could feel him, feel his sorrow at her belief, as brief as it had been, that he’d been executed, and yet, he’d believed how many times that he’d lost her…on Kobol…to the cancer…on New Caprica…the Basestar…and he’d always been there for her, looking for her…as he slowly led her away from the ladder, she remained nestled into his side, one arm around his body, his supporting her. No words had been exchanged, yet an entire conversation had occurred between them. You’re here…I’m here…you’re safe…you’re alive…you didn’t leave me…I love you…I know…

Together they continued down the corridor, Laura unable to trust her voice just yet. She’d been prepared for the Escort, all her mentally practiced ‘please take me to CIC’ statements out the window. She still needed to pick up the shattered pieces of her…their people…but the prepared order had been changed and she needed to think…or not think…Passing corridors rapidly and surrounded by the Marine Escort, she gazed at the shell casings still littering the corners…dried and drying blood spattering the floor and walls…covered bodies, sparking lights…holes and scars…as they entered his quarters, she felt him sink down on the couch, pulling her onto his lap as the hatch closed behind them. Seconds later, a blanket was around her as she trembled in his arms, her face buried in his neck.

“You’re alive.” She mumbled into his skin, welcoming the tightening of his arms around her waist.

“Yeah.” He took her glasses from her loose grip and placed them onto the side table, along with his. “Thanks for standing down.”

At the statement, she couldn’t help it, and started giggling…her body shaking with the laughter that evolved into sobs as she held him, clutching at his uniform desperately. When her sobs finally eased, she lifted her head slightly and gazed at him for a long moment before tilting her head plaintively, her lips parting as he bent his mouth to hers, her hand running up to tangle in his hair as she moaned into his mouth.

“Better?” When they finally broke apart, he leaned his forehead against hers, their breaths mixing in the cocoon of blankets.

“Yeah.” Eyes closed, she traced the contours of his face, feeling the weariness that ran through both of them…his slight whisker stubble…the way he turned his cheek slightly to rest it in her palm.

“We need to…” As her fingers faltered, he waited her out.

“I know.” Leaning forward, she kissed him gently again and slowly untangled herself from him and the blanket. “I need to get to the Quorum, take them off your hands…”

“Laura.” At his tone, she paused and looked down at him.

“They were on Colonial One, weren’t they?” Her movements slower now, she folded the blanket and tossed it to the side before kneeling to face him on the couch. “Are they all right?”

“Laura…” Bill reached for her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. “Zarek…Zarek had them executed. I don’t know the entire story…the marines just said he ordered them…shot.”

She blinked at him, unable to process his statement for a long moment. “Tom Zarek ordered the Quorum…”

“Executed.” He nodded slowly. “Apparently, they started to question when they arrived on Galactica…”

Laura felt the room dissolving around her, his gentle grasp easing her onto her back coming from a distance away, the soft sounds of their home a distant roar…the Quorum had been executed…they’d been…never in a million years…she’d been frustrated with them…they’d sometimes just seemed to want to argue with her…but to never see their faces…hear their voices…arguing…She suddenly realized that his hands had left her and she stirred restlessly, feeling adrift and unable to make sense of the swirling lights and sounds…a soft gasp escaping her as she managed a single question. ”All of them?”

“Here.” Bill eased her up and held a glass to her lips, “slowly.”

She sipped at the liquor before taking the glass from him and taking a healthy swallow. “All of them?” Her voice was husky from the alcohol…but she was starting to focus now. But she should probably eat something…”crackers?”

“Crackers…” He lifted an eyebrow, but stood and crossed the room to retrieve a sleeve of crackers she’d had stashed in his quarters to help overcome the nausea of the diloxin treatments. “Here.”

“Thank you.” Absently taking one she started to nibble at it. “Lee?”

“Right now, you and he are the civilian government.” Bill nodded slowly. “In entirety.”

”So the three of us…” A slightly hysterical giggle bubbled up. “Isn’t that what everyone was afraid of?”

“Not any more.” He handed her another cracker. “We need to get to the CIC, we’ll do a debriefing there…Tyrol called up from the engine room, there’s something he needed a team for. Saul’s coordinating with the rest of the fleet, Kara’s down in Sickbay with Sam, Lee’s been working as a liaison until you got here.”

“Okay.” She nodded and took a deep breath. “Do we know the count yet?”

“No.” He took the now empty glass back from her and handed her a glass of water. “What do you need?”

“Your arms, a rack…” Laura smiled sadly, “time together. But, we’ll get through this; then take what we can. We need to get the Fleet back up and running, we need to get the Captains of all the ships involved, give them the information we hadn’t given them before, help them understand why we need to work together…without Leoben’s technical knowledge, I wouldn’t have been able to get a wireless signal. We need to team up our people with the Cylons to get the knowledge out there so we can get out of here.”

“Already working on it. Captain’s conference in just over an hour. Teleconference, I’d like you to address them at the beginning.” He traced her cheek, it felt even thinner than it had that morning, in fact she seemed so fragile…pale…Bill shook his head slightly. It would be all too easy for both of them to just stay where they were…if they could, which they couldn’t. “Where’s Baltar?”

“Still on the Basestar, he’s staying as a representative, but wants to come back as soon as possible.” She leaned into his touch. “What did you do with Zarek and…Gaeta.”

“In the brig.” Catching her chin, he met her eyes levelly. “They led a mutiny, Madame President, and attempted to take over the civilian government, in addition to murdering dozens of people, civilians and military, without remorse.”

Laura nodded slowly, her eyes filling with misery. “I understand, Admiral. You…will carry out the sentence you deem…necessary.” She hesitated. “I just don’t understand Gaeta…he has such a beautiful voice, reflective of his soul…yet he’s become so dark…”

“He ordered all weapons to hold.” Bill stated quietly. “Heard him as we took over. He’d decided to back down before he knew it was done with. His soul will bear witness.”

“Zarek…” She took a deep breath. “Bill, we’re partly to blame…I’m partly to blame…we gave him the rope, only he took it to hang us…and yet…he was never content to sit in the background and support, he was…there’s a file in your safe, one of the ones I stored there, it has reports of his subversive behaviors…I’d just hoped…but Earth and what I needed…was all he needed to speed up his timetable.”

“Zarek was not your responsibility, Laura.” He laced his fingers with hers. “He made his own decisions, based on his own conscience. While he may have had good intentions, we never heard him, to the extent he wanted to be heard. And once he had the small amount of power, it overcame him.”

Laura nodded and slowly got to her feet. “Well then, Admiral. If you’ll give me a minute to wash my face, we can head up to the CIC and start the next step. Whatever it might be.”

“It would be my honor, Madame President.” Watching her retreat into the back room, he picked up the handset. “CIC.”

By the time she returned, face washed, wig firmly in place, he was waiting for her. “Saul, Lee, and Tyrol will meet us in the Wardroom. There’s another Raptor coming over from the baseship, Caprica and Baltar are on it, Gaeta has requested a final meeting with Baltar.”

“And you’re granting it?” Refastening her jacket, she glanced up at him.

“I am.” He nodded slowly. “You need to go to Sick Bay?”

“No.” Laura shook her head. “When things settle down, I’ll go check in with Cottle. For now, he’s got injured to deal with. Let’s go to CIC, I can start making calls from there, then after I speak to the Captains, I can continue with whatever we’re heading up to discuss now. I need to go to Colonial One to deal with…what’s needed to be dealt with, I’ll need Lee for that, when the Marines have cleared it for us. Then we’ll deal with what we need to so we can start getting this resolved. And moving forward.”

“And then we’ll come home for dinner.” Bill slid his arm around her waist, pulling her gently against him. “Eventually.”

“Just don’t expect me to have it waiting.” Her hands lifting to rest on his shoulders, Laura smiled sadly, remembering a similar teasing exchange just hours earlier, before everything changed…again.

“Just as long as we come home together. Tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll face what we need to with Colonial One, it will take at least that long to secure it, the rest of the fleet we can start with today.” Gently, he kissed her. “Madame President.”

She remained leaning against him, absorbing what strength she could in the brief moment. “Admiral.” Reluctantly stepping back, she ran her hand down his chest, still reveling in the feel of him under her touch until his hand reached out and laced with hers as they moved toward the hatch. Together.