Still of the Night II

Bill found it hard to breathe as he looked into the resolute gaze of the woman in his arms. He was suddenly nervous, scared half out of his mind, and yet ready, so ready to take her down onto her bed and cover her with kisses and melt her with caresses.

The thought of her coming undone for him as he touched her like that was almost overwhelming, but he was also afraid he’d disappoint. He hadn’t exaggerated, it had been a very long time since he’d really made love to a woman, so long he could barely remember it, just that it had been with Carolanne, right before things began growing so ugly.

He had loved her and a part of him always would because she was the mother of his children, but he wasn’t so sure she felt the same. Her love for him had died somewhere along the way. It had to have because he couldn’t fathom what had happened between them happening between two people who loved each other, even just a little. He hadn’t been able to do anything right for her or their children, and it had become so vicious and vile by the end that he couldn’t take it any more.

He’d run to keep from losing what was left of himself and tried everyday since to convince himself he wasn’t a coward or completely selfish for that choice. He believed it on some level — the choice had definitely been right to end hostilities in the home for the children — and yet he didn’t, a feeling that gained legs under the anger of his eldest son whom Bill loved dearly but who never missed a chance to pick open the wound and pour salt into it.

Closing his eyes, Bill pulled Laura tighter to him and held onto her, fighting back tears that had welled to mirror her own. It scared him how much he wanted this with her. They didn’t even know each other really … and yet they did.

Need knows need. Pain understands pain.

Circumstances might differ, but the feelings were universal, as was the desire and need for comfort and healing.

“I want this,” he rasped into her ear, a confession that came with a heavy shudder of his frame against hers. “I want this with you,” he repeated then pleaded, “Please be sure.”

“I’m sure,” Laura assured him as she clutched him to her, eyes clenched shut against the growing wetness in her vision.

She was scared to death but she didn’t think she was half as scared as he was. That should have frightened her more than anything else, but it didn’t. He was as hurt as she was, maybe even more so. Her saying they both needed this was the understatement of the millennium, but it meant them both opening up to each other in a way that they had so far only flirted with. They were a far cry away from where their journey had begun, with a hard and quick frak at a party, and they’d reached it quickly, another thing that should have scared her, and did, but not enough to deter her from the course they were on. To backpedal now would just be cruel, and it wasn’t what she wanted.

“I want this, too. With you,” she told him, losing her battle with her tears, several of which slipped free in advance of her confession.

His hold on her eased a bit and she felt his body relax a little. For a good long while they just held onto one another, breaths coming ragged, bodies trembling frequently. Then, slowly, he began moving again, drawing her into a dance. It wasn’t much more than a rocking back and forth and shuffling of feet, but Laura welcomed the motion, the friction of her naked body against his clothed one, and the caresses of his hands as he launched them in tender sorties over her back and through her hair.

“Tell me if I do anything you don’t like,” he whispered.

She smiled. “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”

He smiled. She felt it against her cheek, the bunching of the muscles in his. “So I shouldn’t worry?” he murmured.

“No,” she said softly then drew back and met his gaze. She saw genuine worry there and sought to assuage it, fixing him with a look of absolute seriousness that had him bringing them to a halt. “Just do what feels right, Bill … what you need to do,” she said, sliding her hands across his shoulders. “And I’m going to do the same.” She smiled then, feathering her fingers through the hair at his nape, “I don’t expect compatibility to suddenly be an issue.”

That netted her another smile and a soft “no” as he took her face in his hands. His eyes moved over her features in a way that made her insides tremble. “You are incredible,” he whispered then leaned toward her, mouth on a course for hers.

< Still of the Night I | Still of the Night III >